


A Wedding and a Funeral

by EbonyLyre



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbonyLyre/pseuds/EbonyLyre
Summary: Sephiroth does not need your opinion on his appearance. Not even yours, Cloud. XD
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	1. The Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and its characters belong to Square Enix.

Sephiroth stands in front of a mirror gazing at his reflection.

“What are you doing?” Cloud asks.

“Contemplating my hair,” the SOLDIER First replies.

“Oh,” Cloud says, then resumes maintaining his sword.

Sephiroth turns to look at Cloud. “Oh?” he challenges.

“Hm?” Cloud replies.

“Just ‘oh’?”

Cloud shrugs. “Either you’re realizing how impractical it is—in which case what is there to say, or you’re admiring it...in which case, what is there to say?”

Sephiroth stares a little longer.

“Marry me.”

Cloud’s head jerks up in shock. “What?!”

“You are the first person who’s responded sensibly about my hair,” Sephiroth explains. “Everyone else seems to think that a master strategist can’t possibly be aware of how impractical, distracting, flammable, etcetera this is,” he says gesturing to his silver waterfall.

Cloud rolls his eyes.


	2. The Funeral

“I got over the hair a long time ago,” Cloud says dismissively. “It’s the lack of a shirt that bothers me.”

“Really?” Sephiroth asks. His eyebrow twitches.

Cloud, who’d gone back to focusing on his weapon, continues obliviously. “I get that your coat’s made of leather so it gets really hot,” he says, “but those straps must chafe like crazy when you’re moving around during combat. What’s wrong with a thin cotton blend or even silk-“

“I suggest you get your affairs in order,” Sephiroth interrupts in a dangerous tone.

“Huh?” Cloud asks, looking up again.

“I am a man of my word, Cloud,” Sephiroth says smoothly. “If you accept my proposal, we will get married— _then death shall do us part_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why you should hang around Vincent more, Cloud. The fewest words help you quit while you’re the furthest ahead...  
> ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª


End file.
